Happy Anniversary to Us!!!

Well, it is hard to believe, but today around noon, Rich and I marked 16 years of married life.

It’s hard to believe because in spite of the struggles, the moves, his near death illness, and everything else under the sun, it seems like only yesterday that we made the trip to Wycliffe Kentucky to visit a justice of the peace.

I remember it so well. It was a warm bright day. We dressed in the best we owned. I wore a pale purple dress with a white jacket; Rich wore his black dress pants and shirt.

We drove down to the small town, just over the border at Cairo.

We got our license but were told that we’d have to wait a bit because the judge slash justice was busy.

I remember the building was old, old, old with wooden floors and my heels clacked loudly when I walked. We went out into the center of the building, and sat down on a wooden bench.

We all know that in a small town, news travels fast, so I can only imagine that the recorders office was a buzz telling everyone there was someone here to get married, because we saw a constant parade of people. They were all passing by, staring and giving us silly Cheshire cat grins, like they knew why we were there.

Then again, maybe everyone in Wycliffe smiles like Cheshire Cats at everyone they see, who can say for sure.

We finally got in to see the judge, who was also a Gideon, and after he preformed the ceremony, he gave us a little Bible with our marriage documented in it, and we got back in our truck and headed home.

On the way home, I kept trying to examine myself and see if ‘being married” made me feel any different, but in truth it really didn’t.

The reason it didn’t was because getting married was really just the final step for us. I had committed myself to Rich and him to me nearly two years earlier, and we never looked back.

There were no bridal showers, or receptions, we simply got married and came home.

My mom gave us a gift the next time she saw us of Pillow cases that said “Mr.” and “Mrs.” on them and we were very pleased. My grandmother Ruby sent us a small glass dish as a gift, and Rich’s mom sent us a card. That was it, no other gifts, no other acknowledgments, but that was okay.

In 16 years of marriage, we’ve only had two arguments. Pretty remarkable I think. The first one was a childish, silly event not too long after we actually said our “I do’s” and it was soon forgotten.

The second one was a little rougher, a little harder to get past, but we did. In our defense though, I know that the anger we were both feeling at that time was at the circumstance we were in, and not at each other.

It was during the time that Rich’s sister was dying with cancer. Rich and I were doing all that we could to watch after Hazel, and we were tired, end of story.

I think with nerves on edge the only people we could yell at and know we would be forgiven were each other, so that’s what we did.

At the time, we had no clue that dealing with Sherry’s illness and eventual death was going to be just the tip of the iceberg for us.

After Sherry passed, Rich’s mom just couldn’t take it. She had for a long time suffered health issues of her own, especially pertaining to her heart, and diabetes.

Within two weeks after Sherry was buried, Hazel was in the hospital, and Rich and I were the ones who needed to take care of her once again.

I have not one regret that we did what we did for Hazel, and neither does Rich.

In the long run, it made both of us stronger individuals, and stronger as a couple.

And, the spat we had while Sherry was ill was all but forgotten except to say that it taught us that we needed to be very patient with each other sometimes, and to remember that if we were going to go through this kind of trial, we knew of no other person we’d want holding us up and giving us strength than each other.

My mom once told me that the things that Rich and I have gone through would tear most marriages apart, but that it has only served to makes ours stronger.

I find comfort in those words, and remember them every time something happens in our life that seems to push us to the edge. Somehow or other we always manage to talk each other down off the ledge, and we move on.

And, we’ve had some remarkably good times together. We neither one require much in the way or worldly goods, or costly entertainment.

Time spent with family is precious to us, and doesn’t come along often enough.

We can entertain ourselves in the simplest of ways.

We sometimes turn out all the lights in the house and stand in the windows watching our crazy neighbors doing something weird and theorize on what they are up to. Which by the way, we’re convinced that the ones across the street are on some major medications and have somehow gotten them mixed up because they are loopy most of the time.

We used to love to fish and mushroom hunt together, but up here it isn’t something we get to do much of anymore.

But here we have the balloons! We both love the balloons, and do all that we can to make every lift off and fly in of the weekend.

Rich really introduced me to the stock car racing, and it is something that we can share in. I have become a big fan of NASCAR, and almost know more about the teams and drivers than he does, almost.

We are not however fans of the same ones. I have several that I am a fan of, and he tolerates that and doesn’t say bad things about them in front of me at least, and once in a while when one of my drivers is in the lead, he’ll even root for them a bit.

And while farmers market does make us money, it is also something that we enjoy doing together.

When Rich was doing the greenhouse in Mason City, he would always tell me what he was doing, how he did it, and if he had learned anything new.

When we started going to the farmers market, I ended up being the “talker” most of the time (imagine that!) and would give folks complete details of how he did things at the greenhouse.

On day I overheard him say that I knew every detail about the business, and that he was really surprised that I’d paid that much attention.

And maybe that has been the key to 18 good years total, 16 today as husband and wife. We have always paid attention to each other.

We discuss all our decisions, even down to what’s for supper.

He still opens doors for me when we go places, and people who know us well, know that we never part company with out a good-bye kiss.

Right, wrong or indifferent, he is my greatest defender, protector, cheerleader and best friend, and I am his.

We never really do much to celebrate our anniversary. It always seems that there is something else that needs our attention, or our money (house payments, car payments, the electric bill, groceries, you know what I mean) so it usually ends up with us saying “Happy Anniversary to us” and that’s the end of it.

Last week Rich came home, and he said, “I’ve got a little problem here. I broke my wedding band.”

He and I are rough on stuff no doubt. I’d broken my wedding bands years earlier and was wearing an inexpensive gold band that matched his as closely as possible.

His was broken clean through. He told me he thought he could super glue it back together if he could just get it off without bending it too badly. Rich is the king of super glue, so if anyone could glue a wedding band back together he could. The problem was he couldn’t get it off over his knuckle! By the time he got it pried off it was a total wreck, I mean a real mess; so, so much for the super glue.

With our wedding anniversary only a week away, I got to wondering if we could find a set of bands that would match for not too much money, and lo and behold, Wal-Mart to the rescue!

When I was doing my regular shopping, I stopped by the jewelry department and saw that they had titanium rings that looked respectable for $38 each, which on our tight budget, was just what I needed to see. Gold bands were much higher, so I decided that it would just have to be titanium.

So today, we made the trek to Wally World and picked out new bands.

Mine feels a lot different, and will take getting used to because it is wider than the old one. With my big ole hands, I didn’t want a dainty ring, as I felt like it would look silly, and besides, when you buy inexpensive you have to choose what you like around the sizes available, and of course the price tag.

And, I think we about drove the sales girl nuts, because at one time we had a total of 9 rings lying on the glass counter. She would on occasion ask us if there were any she could put back, and of course we had to say no not just yet. Rich finally told her “we’re not trying to waste your time here; we are going to buy something before we leave this counter”. I think the main problem for her was she was worried about keeping track of everything that we had lying out.

So anyway, we finally made a decision that we could both be happy with, and as we say every year; “Happy Anniversary to us”!!